We had a busy weekend this weekend. We were out and about almost all day Saturday and then left our home for NYC at 9am Sunday morning. It was a great weekend, just busy. Normally, I try to do some grocery shopping on the weekend, but I had to pick things up yesterday after school instead. So there I was, without my list, trying to remember the essentials we need to get through the first part of the week. Normally my kids are a great help when shopping--but not always--and not this time. They were tired from their day and had that picky-brother-sister-whiny thing going on. You know, the thing that makes you want to lock your self in a room sometimes. So I was sending them to grab stuff from the list (that was in my head) and they were trying to help. They were more interested in tossing the grocery items to one another like a football instead of being of any real assistance. Finally, I'd had it and I pulled them to the sided and fussed at them. They both lost a point for their behavior (we use a points reward system in our home to reinforce good behavior). I was so embarrassed by how they were acting. Onto the next aisle and they were playing around with each other and I hear "Tag, you're it!" Just as I was about to lay into them, I saw it. There was an elderly couple not far from us and the wife was just standing there as her husband studied items on the shelf. She was staring at my kids and had a pondering look on her face. She had her weight shifted to one hip and had her right hand on her chin and a little half smile.Her small wrinkled eyes were smiling too. She had a "deep in thought" look on her face. I could tell by her expression she was enjoying watching them play and their silly little smiles. She was taking in their child-like freedom and giggles. I am sure she was remembering when her children were that age and was taking a trip through years gone by. At that moment, my perspective changed. I took a deep breath and became focused. The Lord reminded me that they are just kids, just a carefree innocent 2nd and 3rd grader who want to play and laugh and will occasionally fight like an old married couple.
The bottom line is that as moms (and grandmothers) we often snap, yell, lose patience and get frustrated because of the expectations we put on ourselves and our children. We are embarrassed by the way they are acting or aren't acting. We forget that they are only toddlers, 3rd graders, middle schoolers, high schoolers, college students, 20 somethings....We have to have grace for ourselves and grace for them. Instead of enjoying their laughter, I was allowing it to push me to the edge. It wasn't their fault we had a busy weekend. It wasn't their fault I forgot to stick my list in my purse that morning. Kids are allowed to have bad days and so are you--just don't stay there.
"The goal isn't being perfect,
the goal is being better!"
The Lord is constantly working on me and in me. Sometimes as He grows me and teaches me I feel like He is constantly bringing me back to a place of refocus. Have you ever seen those bounce house run things that attach your harness to a long bungee cord and then you run run run and it snaps you back? They are really fun, by the way and sometimes require an extra chiropractic visit. That is how I feel some times though. Life gets me busy and running and the Lord snaps me back into focus just like that bungee cord. We need that. I needed that sweet elderly grandma to enjoy seeing my kids laughing and remind me of where my motives were. Where are your motives today? Are you taking a step back from overwhelming situations and refocusing? I highly recommend it. Make sure you are taking time to refuel, don't get burned out. Don't let you talk yourself into being the victim----you are victorious!
Give yourself grace and take purposeful steps to be better tomorrow than you are today!
